Saturday, May 5, 2012

God Gave Me You

I just heard this and it is my new special song for James! God did give me James!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

He Alone

He Alone - Julianne Grant www.youtube.com This song was written by James' Uncle Jerry and is sang by his cousin Julianne. Please enjoy!

Friday, April 6, 2012

"When We See Christ"

This last Sunday Morning, April 1,2012, I got to go to Church for the first time in a long time! It took a long time and a lot of pain and effort to get ready and get there so we sent the kids on to Sunday School while James helped me finish getting ready, taking the necessary breaks for rest and letting spasms pass.
I was excited but out of breath and hurting by the time we got out the door. James had to hold tight to me cause we still have so much ice and snow. Then I got one leg in the truck and one hip on the seat....and as usual, I was stuck! So I held on while he lifted my other leg into the truck and then scooted me over and even buckled me in.  (He takes such good care of me!) As we backed out of our drive there was over two feet of ice and snow, slush and bumps on our back road. It was awful! It threw us all over the place. James kept saying he was sorry, but there was nothing he could do, that is part of spring "break-up" in Alaska! 
Once we hit the main road leading into the subdivision the road graters had been by and the roads were smoother. The sun was out, and I was in the truck with my husband on the way to church!! It was beautiful! Before I realized it I was humming, then I was singing quietly, by the time we reached the second light I was belting it out!!
"Oft times the day seems long, our trials hard to bear! We're tempted to complain, to murmur and despair; But Christ will soon appear and catch His bride away!!! ALL TEARS FOREVER OVER in God's eternal day! IT WILL BE WORTH IT ALL!!!"
The ride to Church was over too soon. I was praising God with all my heart! But then we walked in just in time to start services and be blessed all over again both with the songs and especially the sermon! 
So my friends, never forget, no matter what pain, trial, or tribulation, no matter what Valley you are in or what steep Mountain you are climbing; IT WILL BE WORTH IT ALL, WHEN WE SEE JESUS!!

"When We See Christ" 
Lyrics and Composer: Esther Kerr Rusthoi 

Oft times the day seems long, our trials hard to bear, We're tempted to complain, to murmur and despair; But Christ will soon appear to catch His Bride away, All tears forever over in God's eternal day. 

 It will be worth it all when we see Jesus, Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ; One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase, So bravely run the race till we see Christ. 

 Sometimes the sky looks dark with not a ray of light, We're tossed and driven on, no human help in sight; But there is one in heav'n who knows our deepest care, Let Jesus solve your problem - just go to Him in pray'r. 

 It will be worth it all when we see Jesus, Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ; One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase, So bravely run the race till we see Christ. 

 Life's day will soon be o'er, all storms forever past, We'll cross the great divide, to glory, safe at last; We'll share the joys of heav'n - a harp, a home, a crown, The tempter will be banished, we'll lay our burden down.  

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus, Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ; One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase, So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL


This morning while Mathew was getting ready for Church he was teasing and joking with me while I sat here in my "cripple chair" having spasms. And the more I laughed the worse they got and the more he joked, and the harder I laughed...
But when he finally left, my six and a half foot, 16 year old son YELLED from the other room as he was walking out the door, "I LOVE YOU, MOM!!"
Then I turned on the computer to watch the church services that I couldn't go to and after Sunday School Eben, the song leader, picked some great songs and I was caterwalling along with the computer, missing being there so bad, as usual, but getting a blessing anyway! Then he came to the last song. Before they sang it he read the history behind the song. I have heard the history before, in part.
This has been one of my all time favorite song for YEARS! This was my song for Mathew and I. All through the pregnancy when I was scared, having surgery, in pain, bedrest, preterm labor, alone, lonely...this was the song I sang for us to comfort my heart and let him hear my voice.
Once he was born, this was his lullaby. This was the song I sang when I walked the floors with him at night or when we were scared and couldn't sleep or we felt alone or when we were driving in the dark or in a snow storm...
Mathew was born on a Thurs. night at 11:20pm. Two and a half days later on Sunday morning (Mother's Day) I stood up and handed him to the preacher and gave him back to God for answering my prayers after 7yrs of praying for a baby! It was and still is "Well with my Soul"!! Yes Satan does buffet and trials do come!! But Christ has regarded my helpless estate and shed His Own blood for my soul! And He is in control and has blessed me beyond measure and I know I do not deserve any of it but oh, I am so very thankful and I treasure it! I treasure every second of it! The wonderful and even the hard parts, because they are gifts!


It Is Well with My Soul 

Horatio Gates Spafford
1828-1888


This hymn was written by a Chicago lawyer, Horatio G. Spafford. You might think to write a worship song titled,
'It is Well with my Soul', you would indeed have to be a rich, successful Chicago lawyer. On the contrary, they came from a man who had suffered almost unimaginable personal tragedy.

Horatio and his wife, Anna, were pretty well-known in 1860’s Chicago. And this was not just because of Horatio's legal career and business endeavors. The Spafford’s were also prominent supporters and close friends of D.L. Moody, the famous preacher. In 1870, however, things started to go wrong. The Spafford’s only son was killed by scarlet fever at the age of four. A year later, it was fire rather than fever that struck. Horatio had invested heavily in real estate on the shores of Lake Michigan. In 1871, every one of these holdings was wiped out by the great Chicago Fire.

Aware of the toll that these disasters had taken on the family, Horatio decided to take his wife and four daughters on a holiday to England. And, not only did they need the rest -- DL Moody needed the help. He was traveling around Britain on one of his great evangelistic campaigns. Horatio and Anna planned to join Moody in late 1873. And so, the Spaffords traveled to New York in November, from where they were to catch the French steamer ‘SS Ville du Havre’ across the Atlantic. Yet just before they set sail, a last-minute business development forced Horatio to delay. Not wanting to ruin the family holiday, Spafford persuaded his family to go as planned. He would follow on later. With this decided, Anna and her four daughters sailed east to Europe while Spafford 
returned west to Chicago. Just nine days later, Spafford received a telegram from his wife in Wales. It read: "Saved alone."

On November 2nd 1873, the ‘SS Ville du Havre’ had collided with the ‘Loch Earn’, an English vessel. It sank in only 12 minutes, claiming the lives of 226 people. Anna Spafford had stood bravely on the deck, with her daughters Annie, Maggie, Bessie and Tanetta clinging desperately to her. Her last memory had been of her baby being torn violently from her arms by the force of the waters. Anna was only saved from the fate of her daughters by a plank which floated beneath her unconscious body and propped her up. When the survivors of the wreck had been rescued, Mrs. Spafford's first reaction was one of complete despair. Then she heard a voice speak to her, 
"You were spared for a purpose." And she immediately recalled the words of a friend, "It's easy to be grateful 
and good when you have so much, but take care that you are not a fair-weather friend to God."

Upon hearing the terrible news, Horatio Spafford boarded the next ship out of New York to join his bereaved wife. Bertha Spafford (the fifth daughter of Horatio and Anna born later) explained that during her father's voyage, the captain of the ship had called him to the bridge. "A careful reckoning has been made", he said, "and I believe we are now passing the place where the ‘SS Ville du Havre’ was wrecked. The water is three miles deep." Horatio then returned to his cabin and penned the lyrics of his great hymn.

The words which Spafford wrote that day come from II Kings 4:26. They echo the response of the Shunammite woman to the sudden death of her only child. Though we are told "her soul is vexed within her", she still maintains that 'It is well." And Spafford's song reveals a man whose trust in the Lord is as unwavering as hers was.

It would be very difficult for any of us to predict how we would react under circumstances similar to those experienced by the Spaffords. But we do know that the God who sustained them would also be with us.

No matter what circumstances overtake us may we be able to say with Horatio Spafford...

It Is Well with My Soul 

  1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
    When sorrows like sea billows roll;
    Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
    It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  • Refrain:
    It is well, with my soul,
    It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  1. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
    Let this blest assurance control,
    That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
    And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  1. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
    My sin, not in part but the whole,
    Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
    Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  1. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
    If Jordan above me shall roll,
    No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
    Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  1. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
    The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
    Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
    Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  1. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
    The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
    The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
    Even so, it is well with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Horatio G. Spafford, 1873
Composed byPhilip Bliss
Bliss called his tune ‘Ville du Havre’, from the name of the stricken vessel.
The Spaffords later had three more children, one of whom (a son) died in infancy. In 1881 the Spaffords, including baby Bertha and newborn Grace, set sail for Israel. The Spaffords moved to Jerusalem and helped found a group called the American Colony; its mission was to serve the poor.


Although the original manuscript reads "know" at the end of the third line, almost all recordings and written reproductions read "say".

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Blessed Assurance


  1. Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
    Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
    Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
    Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
    • Refrain:
      This is my story, this is my song,
      Praising my Savior all the day long;
      This is my story, this is my song,
      Praising my Savior all the day long.
  2. Perfect submission, perfect delight,
    Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
    Angels, descending, bring from above
    Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
  3.    Refrain:
       This is my story, this is my song,
       Praising my Savior all the day long;
       This is my story, this is my song,
       Praising my Savior all the day long.
  4. Perfect submission, all is at rest,
    I in my Savior am happy and blest,
    Watching and waiting, looking above,
    Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
  5.     Refrain:
       This is my story, this is my song,
       Praising my Savior all the day long;
       This is my story, this is my song,
       Praising my Savior all the day long.
          1. Frances J. Crosby, 1873
          2. Hebrews 10:22
          3.     How can this not be on my favorite song's list? Where would we be? Where would I be? If it were not for the assurance of our Salvation? If we weren't able to know for SURE that we are on our way to Heaven with our sins already under the Blood of Christ and forgiven...I for one would be a mess!
          4.     Can you imagine facing Almighty God with your sins unforgiven and the debt still owed to pay for those crimes, be they big or small. Knowing that God in his Righteousness demands the same punishment for sins whether they be big ones or small ones, used to scare me to death! But now my sins have been covered by the blood and I have Blessed Assurance.

Monday, July 18, 2011

When You Say Nothing At All

When You Say Nothing At All 

Updated April 11, 2023
This song was sung at our wedding over 24 years ago. It was not my choice. My husband picked it. He loved this song. I get what it meant to him but I didn't really agree 100% with the song. 

Here is why. Yesterday was a year and a half since I lost my husband to the Delta variant of Covid 19. It was a very fast and unexpected loss. We thought he had a bit of a cold that was triggering his asthma and his inhaler ran out. It was the weekend so he couldn't call his provider for a refill. I took him to the ER and he went in. (Alone, because "Covid rules") of course they had to test him to allow him in. He popped positive! We were shocked! Five days later he was dead.

Since then I have NOT missed the times he "said Nothing at all." In fact the quietness has been the hardest of all!

What I have missed most are the times we spent hours alone talking! Sitting across from each other in our living room with no one around, no distractions, just he and I sharing our hearts, our thoughts, our dreams, our memories. 

This is what I miss most of all! His voice, his laughter, the tone and inflection of his voice. The way he laughed so hard he would cry. The way he wasn't ashamed of his tears when he cried over things he had done wrong or his broken heart for his kids, family, friends or lost souls. These are the things I have missed the most in the last year and a half.


It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)
Try as they may they can never define
What's been said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best.. when you say nothing at all

(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know that you need me..

by Ronan Keating

Friday, July 15, 2011

Till the Storm Passes By

TILL THE STORM PASSES BY (Mosie Lister) Recorded by: Bill Gaither; Vestal Goodman; Greater Vision; Inspirations; Ron Jarman; Ben Speer. In the dark of the midnight have I oft hid my face, While the storm howls above me, and there's no hiding place. 'Mid the crash of the thunder, Precious Lord, hear my cry, Keep me safe till the storm passes by. Chorus Till the storm passes over, till the thunder sounds no more, Till the clouds roll forever from the sky; Hold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy hand, Keep me safe till the storm passes by. Many times Satan whispered, "There is no need to try, For there's no end of sorrow, there's no hope by and by" But I know Thou art with me, and tomorrow I'll rise Where the storms never darken the skies. Chorus Till the storm passes over, till the thunder sounds no more, Till the clouds roll forever from the sky; Hold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy hand, Keep me safe till the storm passes by. When the long night has ended and the storms come no more, Let me stand in Thy presence on the bright peaceful shore; In that land where the tempest, never comes, Lord, may I Dwell with Thee when the storm passes by. Chorus Till the storm passes over, till the thunder sounds no more, Till the clouds roll forever from the sky; Hold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy hand, Keep me safe till the storm passes by.


This is one of Mathew's and my songs. When I was pregnant with him and scared and alone, I would rub my belly and sing or hum this song to him. It was such a comfort to me in times of worry and the unknown that lay ahead of me.
Then when he was born it was the song I would sing to calm him to sleep, or to ease him. There was something about the tune whether I was singing the words or humming the tune it settled his tears and crying (and mine too). Or when we were in the car alone together and I got worried or overwhelmed about something as a Mom trying to raise her son alone.
For the first three years of his life I sang this song thru all my storms. And they did pass by, and God did hold us in His mighty hands and protect us! This is a precious, precious song and I never hear it without remembering all the nights of singing it over and over till my voice gave out or we both finally fell asleep knowing God was our fortress in our storm!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Night With the Frogs

    A friend of mine and I were talking and started discussing sin. Not an abnormal topic, we are both Christians. And the question was asked, when a Christian friend willingly and knowingly sins. And you have gone to them Biblicaly and talked to them and they still choose to continue, with the "intent" to stop, but...not just yet.
    It reminds me of the song sung by Mark Rogers (http://www.mrogers.com/) called "One More Night With the Frogs" I have heard him sing this song since I was 17 and it is a fun song and I got it and understood what he was saying in the song. But yesterday it became so very real to me that that is what so many Christians do is excuse what they are doing wrong with reasons, explanations and whatever else they can come up with to make it ok to do what they want for now even though it is sin. Fully expecting to ask God to forgive them for it later and move on with no consequences, as if the slate were now wiped clean. But God says that our sins will find us out and we will pay for them. Here or in Heaven, eventually they cause hurt and pain not just for us but for so many around us that we later are broken hearted when we see how far the ripples in the pool have spread from our lives into the lives of those we love. But by then, it is too late and we have to live with it.
    So please don't, as Mark Rogers so eloquently puts it in his song, choose to spend "One More Night With the Frogs".

The last part of the song says:  One more night with the stinkin' frogs, one more night in sin! I had a terrible time with them last night, but I just gotta' do it again! You know it will always be a puzzle to me and I guess it's all because, they could of had peace, rest, and sleep, but chose one more night with the frogs.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

For Always

For Always
For Always…All my life I dreamed of someone special who’d come along and make my dreams come true.
When I least expected love, it came my way, the moment I caught a glimpse of you!
For Always, I will give you my heart. Cherish every moment in your arms. As long as we’re together, I can face another day. I’ll love you (I will love you), For Always!

Hand in hand we’ll spend our lives together, we’ve pledged our love for all eternity. My soul is soaring, there is joy just in my heart. For I’m in love with you. (I’m in love with you!) And you’re in love with me (in love with me!)!
For Always, I will give you my heart. Cherish every moment in your arms. As long as we’re together, I can face another day. I’ll love you (Yes, I’ll love you), For Always!
For Always, I will give you my heart. Cherish every moment in your arms. As long as we’re together, I can face another day. I’ll love you (Yes, I’ll love you), For Always! For Always! For Always!

Jim and Melissa Brady





James and I have been married for over 12 years. Melissa Brady has been my friend since we were girls of only 11 years old and I met Jim and his family in Texas when I was in 1st grade! Who would have known that these MANY years later their CD of love songs would mean so much to us? So many of the songs were as if they were written with us in mind and Jim and Melissa had never even met my husband when they made this CD and wrote these songs.
But that is just the way our Great God and Heavenly Father works. His Word can speak to a parent who has lost a baby or a wife who is a new widow or a single person who desires a husband or wife. He speaks to all of our needs and he can use a willing vessel to write songs that touch people’s hearts all around the world for his purpose. Songs that have a special meaning to each person or couple depending on where they are in they’re life.
 Are James and I perfect? NO Do we have a perfect marriage and never disagree or “fight”? NO Do we adore each other more than the day we got married over 12 years ago? You better believe it!! We gross out our kids all the time and especially embarrass our 16yr old (another blessing with a long story for later) son by hugging and “smooching”. But our kids have no doubt even on tough days when I’m hurting and snippy or Dad has worked 12 or 14 hrs, that we still love each other and that will be FOR ALWAYS!!
They know if Dad and Mom are in the same room they will be touching, my head on his shoulder, holding hands, sitting on his lap, his head in my lap, one of us rubbing the other’s feet, him brushing my hair, hugging or kissing or just sitting talking and laughing. We will be TOGETHER.
Twelve years, three kids, two cancers, 13 surgeries, and LOTS of grey hairs and he still holds my hand every time we ride in the car, no matter who is there. He holds my hand when we walk together, puts his arm  around me in church and gives me his arm when we walk in church and pulls the car to the front door while our sons help me in the car after church! I am loved and cared for like I am a fragile treasure! I AM LOVED FOR ALWAYS!!!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

You'll Accomp'ny Me

A gypsey wind is blowin warm tonight
the sky is starlit and the time is right
and still your tellin me you have to go
before you leave there's somethin you should know

yeah
something you should know babe

I've seen you smilin in the summer sun
I've seen your long hair flyin when you run
i've made my mind up that its meant to be
someday lady you'll accomp'ny me

someday lady you'll acomp'ny me
out where rivers meet the soundin sea
your high above me now your wild and free
oh but someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
someday lady you'll accomp'ny me yeah

ohh

Some people say that love's a losin game
you start with fire but you lose the flame.
the ashes smolder but the warmths soon gone
you end cold and loneley own your own

Ill take my chances babe i'll risk it all
i'll win your love or i'll take the fall
ive made my mind up girl its meant to be,
someday lady you'll accomp'ny me

someday lady you'll acomp'ny me
it's written down somewhere its got to be
your high above flyin wild and free
oh but someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
someday lady you'll accomp'ny me yeah

someday lady you'll acomp'ny me
out where rivers meet the soundin sea
i feel it in my soul its meat to be
oh someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
someday lady you'll accomp'ny me yeah

you will acompany me
ohh
yeah

i know you will a-comp'ny me yeah
ahh
somday lady
ohh
somday lady
your gonna comp'ny me
your gonna walk with me and talk with me
yeah
ohh gonna comp'ny me
gonna comp'ny me yeah
someday 


Bob Seger  



Not a song you would expect to be on my list. I have only dated two men in my life and since I ended up married to both of them even songs from when i was dating the first time made a huge impression on me.
Some of them hurt too much for one reason or another to listen to now but they are still a part of me.
This one is one of Charlie's songs for me when we were dating. He would play it and tell me that when we got married he would take me to Ninilchik. Where he and his family lived and and we would go fishing together (the one thing he truley loved).
But one time he was playing in the parking lot at the bowling alley with a group from church and said something about it being meant for me and my brother Dewayne got mad and wanted to beat him up! I thought it was silly for Dewayne to get so mad but so proud that someone felt that way about me!
Wish I had looked down the road 12 years instead of just hearing a romantic song...